I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
