Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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