It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
