i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
