Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
