Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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