In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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