I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
