similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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