I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
