The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
