he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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