Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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