She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
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