Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
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