you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
