Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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