maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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