I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
