I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
