I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
