Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
