if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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