I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
PANTIES FOUND
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
