so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
