You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
