I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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