dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
