so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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