You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
