Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
