my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
