I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
