he shaved USA in his pubs
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
