Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
