I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
