just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
