hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
