I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
