I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
