HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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