this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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