She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love having hate sex.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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