Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Damn victory sex feels great
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
