I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he shaved USA in his pubs
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize