He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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