I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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