there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize