I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
