Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
