it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
