My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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