After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
