I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was born a porn star she said
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
