Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
