Dual....:-)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
