scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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