There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
